lördag 14 februari 2015

17 January

What’s up, diary?

I can now reveal who it was who broke into my school. It’s a guy who has the ability to look “pretty good” for certain violin-playing girls. In other words, with 99% certainty, the thief is the new boy in Nadia’s class. How do I know? Well, the thief stole a whole big bag of frozen french-fries from the school cafeteria so that all the students would starve to death, including me. ESPECIALLY ME! As soon as I’m starved and dead, the new boy will be able to have Nadia all for himself. Once I figured it all out, I just had to call Nadia and warn her. Here’s how the conversation went:
Person A: Hey, it’s your starving boyfriend, Ned.
Person B: Hey, how’s it going?
Person A: I’m still alive. But barely. I need to warn you about something.
Person B: About what?
Then Person A told Person B that Person C had broken into Building 1 and that Person A was starving since Person C had stolen frozen FF so that he could have Person B for himself. So Person B should definitely NOT let Person C into Building 2.
“I don’t understand a word you’re saying,” Nadia said.
“Person A can’t say any more,” I said. Then I hung up.
Yesterday afternoon I hid outside of Nadia’s house to do some snooping. I made a note of everybody who came and left. Here are the people I noted:

* Nadia’s mom’s friend’s boyfriend
* Nadia’s three spooky and disgusting brothers, Mick, Meck and Moreland

Help, I thought when her brothers came out. I threw myself down headfirst into the snow so they wouldn’t see me.
Whew, I made it, I thought. But I was wrong. I’d thrown myself down headfirst into a pile of dog crap.

Thanks, bye,


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