A dead man is talking to you.
Yesterday I had the worst luck in the world.
Our class had a history test.
I knew everything ... about the wrong war.
“I’m a little before my time,” I told our teacher.
“You’ll get another chance next week,” she said.
I saw Nadia today, that’s what the yabadabadoo was about.
She’s become friends with the new guy in her class.
That’s why I’m a dead man.
As soon as Nadia started talking about him, I could tell that the marriage was over.
Nadia told me that the new guy has cute dimples.
I glanced at myself in the mirror.
I have puffy cheeks.
But then Nadia told me that she loves me.
I didn’t believe her. I had to make her take a lie-detector test by taking her pulse.
“You can take someone’s pulse best near their heart,” Nadia said.
I took her pulse. It felt 100% ok.
I told Nadia that someone had broken into my school.
“Yeah, I know,” Nadia said.
“WHAT?!” I screamed and remembered my suspicions about the thief being a certain guy with cute dimples.
“Yeah, it was in the paper that they caught the guy who did it.”
“WHAT?!” I screamed again.
“Are you going deaf??” Nadia asked. “It said in the paper that they caught some 56 year-old guy who had done it.”
56 year-old, I thought to myself. Do they have kids that old in Nadia’s class?
He must have failed a whole heap of times.
“Did the thief have cute dimples?” I asked.
My suspicions were wrong, both about the thief and about Nadia.
And unfortunately, about the new guy in Nadia’s class.
Bye, bye, bimpels,
I hate dimples!