27 January

What’s up, diary?

Last night I wanted to watch tv. 
I was planning to watch a nature program about squirrels and moss. 
But I couldn’t. 
I couldn’t find the remote control. 
You can’t watch tv without the remote control. 
Everything gets all fuzzy and you can’t turn up the volume from the couch. 
You have to get up. 
I called Mom.
“Mom, Mom, come quick!”

Mom came running in and thought I was about to die. Which was true, too.
“What is it?” she asked, worried.
“Could you turn up the tv for me?” I said. “I can’t hear nature.”
Mom got all upset and called me a lazy bum. 
She told me that if I couldn’t hear, then I could turn it up myself.
“But how?” I said angrily. “The remote control is gone.”
“You could start by getting up and walking the ten feet to the tv,” Mom said, irritated.
“Are you crazy?” I said. “I might wear out my muscles with all that running back and forth.”
Then Mom threatened to send me to Siberia - where they don’t have any remote controls at all. 
But if that’s the case, then how do they watch tv?

I’m not lazy,
 Mom’s just crazy!