24 January

What’s up, diary?

My starvation continues. 
The Floyd family is on a diet. 
Including their skeleton of a son. 
Stay tuned for ten gazillion sequels. And don’t miss today’s episode called:
DAD + CARROT JUICE = LOVE.

I am about to starve to death. 
I can feel the last of my strength draining from me as I write these final tragic words. 
In a hundred and three years someone will find my diary and my skeleton, and the truth will be revealed. 
Dad will have to go to jail for illegal dieting.
Yesterday we ate chopped sprouts and drank carrot juice for dinner. 
I HATE CARROT JUICE! 
I see carrots in my dreams. 
They’re chasing me. 
It even seems like Nadia’s rabbit has been flirting with me. 
A little while ago I measured my front teeth to see how much longer I have until I’m a bunny. 
The transformation should be complete by Saturday morning.

Now I’m getting ready to go have my diet breakfast: a cup of herb tea and half a piece of toast with fake, sissy cheese.

I wonder if the Red Cross could set up a private steak collection for the starving children at 1804 Raspberry Drive. 
If they do, tell them to look for the door that says “Floyd.”

Bye, bye,
 mmmmmmm ... pie ...